The End of an Era

So today marks the beginning of the end, Many of you are going to read this post and say "oh it's just another soon to be college graduate reaching the end of her college career telling a sob story" but for me it isn't. It is something completely different whether you believe me or not. today begins the end, the end of all ends (to put some drama into the words).

I understand that no one want to read this post so for those of you who aren't interested feel free to move along, I just needed to make note. But today is the point where everyone begins to get ready to say goodbye. I'm in a theatre fraternity, Theta Alpha Phi, it's a dying/dead theatre fraternity...but it's my home. about a week ago (give or take) we switched to Alpha Psi Omega, new beginnings, ya know? Well traditions stick with a group. Fall masque is hard. fall masque is a time of celebration of beginnings. It's a time to bring new and old and make our family stronger in the theatre world. But while we celebrate these beginnings we always take a step to say goodbye.

our tradition is 80s music. We have special dances to these songs, we pass them on from generation to generation. They've made they're way through. At the end of the night, the last song, American Pie. We're a very sentimental group. the graduating seniors are along in the middle of the circle. tonight...it was just me. it was strange at first, i mean i knew it was going to happen, but it still felt foreign. up until now it all seemed so far away, it felt like i had time. geez, I'm writing this like my life is ending. but a section of it feels like it is.

So like tradition, I said some goodbyes. but it's still really surreal. especially because in this community if i need someone i can drive less than 2 miles down the road and I'm able to talk it out with someone. in two weeks I'll be home...I don't have friends there. I don't know where to go when it's 2 AM and I'm unable to sleep. I don't know who I can call up and tell them I need someone to get lunch with. in 2 weeks everything i have known for 4.5 years will be gone. everything. they always tell you that college is the best time of your life. they never tell you how badly it hurts to leave.